<TITLE>01. Par 1-4</TITLE>47-1221, Experiences, Shriner Temple, Phoenix, AZ, no tape
L-1 I tell you what was brought to me today. Was about... tried to make me so weak. I just could not understand how I would get so weak. Always when I would have a meeting... I--I never want to be a sickling. Everyone knows that heard me tell my life story, and how it was caused; the fever caused it, not smoking and so forth, when I was just a young man. And I--I never wanted to be a sickling...?... [Blank.spot.on.tape--Ed.] to God, and do everything, played football, and broken me...?... It just pull games out on the...?... out there, and just pulling me...?... [Blank.spot.on.tape--Ed.]
And I wondered why that was. I couldn't not understand; I get so weak sometimes I'd pass completely out, you know. Had them take me out, may be hours before I'd even come to myself and knowed what was wrong...?... I think... Somewhat about...?... [Blank.spot.on.tape--Ed.]

L-2 That I was too sincere about it, that I thought too much on it, set my mind on it too much. Said, "You pray for John Doe's baby; forget about it. That's God's business to heal it." Said, "You just think too much sincerely of it." Said, "Then when you do, going to cause to have a mental collapse."
My nature is not... Well, more like carrying on, but I... They told me I'd have to forget about the thing; I was too sincere for them. I don't believe you can get too sincere about the work of God. That's right. More sincere you are, the better God can lead you.
So I... They told me that I might have a mental break-up. But I--I went along. And many of you that know me, know that from the first time I was here, for awhile, I would try to stick things in my mind...

L-3 [Blank.spot.on.tape--Ed.]... preaching Divine healing, probably before I was born. And I--I seen him at seventy-one years old, and yet was more needful then than my first...?... Now, I looked and then and I heard him say that he could hold a meeting for a year, night after night... [Blank.spot.on.tape--Ed.]
I believe It would take my very life. Well, I did not understand why that was. I knew that I had received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. And Brother Bosworth said, "He'd received the baptism of the Holy Spirit." That made us brothers. And God was the One Who saved us both. And then I wondered why he could hold up and I could not hold up. And I thought, "Well, maybe that he was just--had more of the Holy Spirit, and more than I would." Then I thought... Well, that's the way I kind of--kind of consoled myself with it.
And I thought, "Well, I'm going to pray today. I'm going over in the meeting, and I'm going to see if God won't give me more of the Holy Spirit then, so I can hold up more." So last night in the services, I was really just the same, even when miracles was done.

L-4 I went home. I--I did not say anything to the loved ones. But this morning, I got up early. I went out to the desert, and I just had to talk it over. I just couldn't understand. And He understands. And He--He knows all about it. So while out there on the desert praying, after a bit, after a prayer, it never spoke with a audible voice as you hear mine, as sometimes He does speak.
But it just seemed as if Something just come down and just said it. And it just settled in my mind forever what it was. Something said, "Those men preach by the Word and this is a gift. Each person depended on their own faith and this is by the gift. So was I, take from Me."
Now, I am not the gift. You see. I believe that there's gifts (That's true.), that's in this world. But the gift is what God sends down out of heaven. And this is just occupied then by a human body, or by anything that God wishes to put it on.
One day, it was His choice to put it upon a--a brass serpent on a pole... [Blank.spot.on.tape--Ed.]


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